Car alarms. The morning wake up call goes something like this: a harsh crescendo of Bee-oop bee-oop bee-oop bee-oop. Followed by a descending high pitched Beeboobeeboo beeboobeeboo beeboobeeboo. Then, a long upward boooOOO boooOOO boooOOO boooOOO and a staccato of beep beep beep beep beep. Continued with a HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! and finally, a repetition of ‘Please step away from the vehicle.’
There is no evidence that car alarms work. They only create a false sense of security. According to my friends that steal cars, thieves will even intentionally trip the car alarm to mask the sound of breaking glass. My friends can disable them in seconds.
Once people started figuring out that the car alarm could just as easily go off from a speck of dust that came within a micrometer too close as it would a burglar, they stopped caring. Eventually, becoming more annoyed than anything. And at this point, people are more willing to assist the burglar than alert the owner of the vehicle. In fact, a recent poll revealed that your upstairs neighbor is 100% more likely to key the word “douchebag” on the hood of your car if your alarm goes off again at 4:30 am! Dude. Not cool. They’ve become so ubiquitous that we’ve become used to the sound, they are no longer effective. It has become the quintessential Boy Who Cried Wolf story.
The insurance industry says they don’t prevent car theft but they do increase noise pollution. I propose a World ban of obnoxious car alarms. Now silent, inexpensive anti-theft devices are available, like Car Alarm Pagers, Keyless Entry Systems, Vehicle Ignition Kill Switches, the LoJack System and Steering Wheel and Brake Locks. And if you’re not too lazy, you can always detach the Face Stereo Dash that your lazy ass keeps forgetting to do.
There is no evidence that car alarms work. They only create a false sense of security. According to my friends that steal cars, thieves will even intentionally trip the car alarm to mask the sound of breaking glass. My friends can disable them in seconds.
Once people started figuring out that the car alarm could just as easily go off from a speck of dust that came within a micrometer too close as it would a burglar, they stopped caring. Eventually, becoming more annoyed than anything. And at this point, people are more willing to assist the burglar than alert the owner of the vehicle. In fact, a recent poll revealed that your upstairs neighbor is 100% more likely to key the word “douchebag” on the hood of your car if your alarm goes off again at 4:30 am! Dude. Not cool. They’ve become so ubiquitous that we’ve become used to the sound, they are no longer effective. It has become the quintessential Boy Who Cried Wolf story.
The insurance industry says they don’t prevent car theft but they do increase noise pollution. I propose a World ban of obnoxious car alarms. Now silent, inexpensive anti-theft devices are available, like Car Alarm Pagers, Keyless Entry Systems, Vehicle Ignition Kill Switches, the LoJack System and Steering Wheel and Brake Locks. And if you’re not too lazy, you can always detach the Face Stereo Dash that your lazy ass keeps forgetting to do.
8 comments:
I hate people who can't even get into their own car without setting off the alarm.
I like to hit the alarm on my keys when my roommate walks by, just to see them jump.
With improving anti theft devices car jacking is now on the rise.
lol, you know I have set someones car off once on accident. I was so embarrassed, not to mention it scared the pee out of me.
EXCELLENT description! I have a system but choose not to use it simply for that reason.
durrrr! yes, i freakin' hate them!
i'm borrowing my bro's car right now and if you lock it, the car alarm goes off when you go to open it and you have to get the key in the ignition to stop it. so i leave the car unlocked.
I hate bloody car alarms. That's why I moved back to the Australian Outback...Steakhouse.
There's a whole "village" of neighbors sharing one house across from my house and all of them have the bloody things on all their vehicles.
I remember a time when I "enjoyed" my neighborhood. Not anymore.
Sure I would like to see a world-wide [or at least USA-wide] BAN of this useless tech-krap.
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